My Father's Lover Read online

  Michael was on the phone to confirm the time with the caterer for the Christmas Eve party at the club when Anthony came into the kitchen. He hung up shortly after Anthony had poured his coffee. “He’ll have everything ready for three a.m. You said in the lounge, right?”

  “Yeah. Thanks for calling him.”

  “No problem. So, do we get a bonus too?” Michael threw at him, sitting back down to his toast and eggs.

  “Will you give it a rest? Don’t start with me today.”

  “I just find they’re a little generous, that’s all.”

  “Your father was a generous man. He was the one who originally decided on bonuses, not me. Daniel often tried to talk him out of it, but your father was having none of it. Look, just think of how much money you’ve made in the past six months. I think we can afford to be generous.”

  Michael actually smiled. “You’re the generous one, not me.”

  “You can be quite generous when you want to be.”

  “How am I supposed to interpret that?”

  Anthony shrugged. “Use your imagination. I’ve got to go out, do some shopping for tonight. See you later.”

  “You should eat something. There are eggs and…”

  “I’ll grab something at the mall, Mother.”

  * * * * *

  Everyone was in a good mood down at Impressions. Even Jason was nice to Michael, who was kind of feeling the Christmas spirit himself, until Sandy showed up and put a damper on it. Sandy wasn’t a bad guy, he just didn’t hide his feelings for Anthony very well, and for some reason, this immediately drained the Christmas spirit right out of Michael.

  By the time the club closed, the caterer had the buffet set up and Anthony called all the staff together and handed out their bonuses. When Michael saw the pleasure on their faces, it made him forget how much it was costing him. He realised that Anthony had been right all along. Then Anthony brought out gifts. Everyone got one, and Michael was surprised when Anthony handed him one. “I didn’t get you anything,” he said apologetically, taking the package from Anthony’s hand.

  Anthony shrugged. “That’s okay. Open it.”

  The others were opening theirs, oohing and ahhing, or laughing at the gift Anthony had hand-picked for them, everything from clothing to sex toys.

  Michael ripped the paper off a flat box. He removed the cover to find a framed picture. It was a picture of his father when he was really young, and he was holding a baby in his arms. He’d never seen this particular picture before. Anthony had had it blown up, and professionally framed. Tears stung his eyes. He knew the baby was himself. There was such a look of love on his father’s face as he looked down at the baby in his arms. Michael swallowed the lump in his throat, and quickly covered it back up again.

  Juan walked over and handed a gift to Anthony, and then one to Michael. “Merry Christmas,” he said, shaking Michael’s hand, and hugging Anthony tight. Michael was surprised to receive gifts from the other staff members as well, small things that Michael appreciated immensely. He was really touched.

  They ate and sang a few Christmas songs, and then Michael was surprised to see Anthony come out with his guitar, which brought a round of applause.

  When Anthony began to play, Michael stood, transfixed. His fingers moved over the chords effortlessly as his deep baritone voice sang the words to I’ll be Home for Christmas. Sandy stood close to him and began to join him, then, everyone began to sing.

  Michael actually felt a sense of belonging for the first time since he’d come to this place. He tried to ignore how close Sandy was standing to Anthony, or that Jason hovered near his elbow, at times putting his arm around him. Michael eased himself across the room, and stood beside Annie and Marie. From where he was standing he had a clear view of Anthony. When Anthony eventually put down his guitar and disappeared from the room, Michael went looking for him.

  He found him outside by himself, his arms folded across his chest, gazing absently up into the sky. “Hey,” Michael said. “What’s up? You were having such a good time awhile ago.”

  “Just needed a minute.”

  “You play really well.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You miss him a lot, don’t you? You miss my father.”

  “Yeah, I do.” He gave Michael a faint smile.

  “You’re still thinking about how to find those guys who did it,” Michael stated, rather than asked.

  “Yes.”

  “It’s dangerous.” Suddenly the thought that anything bad could happen to Anthony terrified him.

  “Probably.”

  “Have you thought about how you would…?”

  “I don’t want to think about that tonight, okay? You’ll come to Heaven tomorrow night?”

  “The club?”

  “Yeah, we all go there Christmas night. There’s a big party. We usually go to Hollio’s for turkey later. His wife makes it every year.”

  “Well, I don’t know. I wasn’t invited so…”

  “I’m inviting you.” He looked into his eyes.

  “Okay.” Michael nodded. He glanced at him, his long dark hair blowing softly in the predawn breeze. He wanted to touch him, to kiss him even. This was madness. Instead he said, “See you inside.”

  “Merry Christmas, Michael.”

  “Merry Christmas.”

  * * * * *

  “Is there anything I can do?” Michael inquired, coming out in the kitchen where Jason and Anthony were hustling around the kitchen.

  “Yeah, you can finish setting the table. Light the fondue burners, will ya?” Anthony said, cutting up cheese.

  “Sure. Ah, Anthony,” Michael said, coming close to him so that Jason wouldn’t hear. “Sandy seems pretty drunk. Should I bring him some coffee or…?”

  “Leave him. He’s okay.”

  Michael nodded. Sandy had seemed fine at dinner, but later before the others had arrived, he and Anthony had gone off alone somewhere, and when they returned, Sandy seemed depressed. He began drinking a lot. He hadn’t stopped all afternoon.

  As Michael lit the fondue burners, he could hear Juan and the others laughing and talking in the living room. When Sandy wandered into the dining room, Michael glanced over at him to see if he was still standing. “Hey. You need something?”

  Sandy snorted. “Yeah, I need something, but it’s nothing you can give me.”

  Michael regretted asking him. He lit another match, surprised when Sandy came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. It was not a friendly gesture. “I’m not sure what it is you’ve got, but I suspect you’ve been giving it to Anthony. You don’t really care about him. You just want the money, and he’s the bank.”

  “Would you mind taking your hand off of me?” Michael’s voice was a mask of controlled anger. “Please,” he said, thinking how easy it would be to knock Sandy on his ass.

  Sandy relaxed his hold and stepped back.

  Michael turned around and looked at him. “You’re drunk, but if you were seeing straight, you’d realise that I’m not the one you have to worry about. It’s Jason.”

  Sandy laughed. “Oh, I’m not that drunk. Jason is pretty obvious, but he’s nothing to worry about. Anthony would never go for Jason. Jason is like his brother.”

  “So am I.” Michael shrugged.

  “Ha. You’re full of shit. You’re as crazy about him as I am, and unlike Jason, you’re a real contender.”

  Michael let the words wash over him for a minute. Was he? Was he a real contender? Would Anthony ever see him as a potential long-term lover? Did he want him to?

  “What’s going on?” Anthony asked as he walked into the dining room with two trays of fondue beef.

  “Nothing,” Sandy said. “I think I need some coffee.”

  “Good idea. Jason is making some,” Anthony said.

  Sandy threw one last look at Michael, then headed to the kitchen.

  Anthony put down the plates and sighed. “I think we’re about ready.”

  “Ar
e we really eating a turkey dinner later?” Michael rubbed his stomach.

  “Not until about three in the morning. It’s usually a hot and cold buffet. Tradition. After dancing all night, you’ll be hungry again.”

  “Guess we’re going to have to dance our pants off, or risk not being able to fit into them tomorrow.”

  “Sounds interesting.” Anthony grinned.

  “What sounds interesting?”

  “Dancing our pants off.”

  Michael laughed, shaking his head. “Get your mind out of the bedroom.”

  Anthony winked at him, then, went to call the others to the table.

  A few hours later, they were all getting ready to go out to the club. Juan was fussing over Anthony, and finally when Anthony came downstairs, Michael stood there staring at him dumbstruck, as did all the others. He was dressed in black leather pants, and a silky light blue shirt which lay open at the chest. His hair was loose and Juan had done something with it so that it fell back from his face. He looked great, although he complained about Juan’s attempt to put makeup on him.

  Sandy grabbed Anthony’s arm. “I get the first dance, baby, before all those hungry wolves at Heaven form a line.”

  “I think we all should get a dance,” Juan said, and for some reason he grabbed Michael’s arm and pulled him forward.

  Michael narrowed his eyes at Juan, who lowered his mouth to his ear and said, “Stake your claim, boy.”

  Michael went to open his mouth, but Juan gave him a nudge, which brought him within inches of Anthony.

  Anthony raised an eyebrow at him.

  “I…well…I think I should get a dance too, don’t you?”

  Anthony laughed. “Sure. Are we ready?”

  Everyone was ready. Sandy and Jason went with Anthony in his car, as he didn’t intend to drink. Michael did intend to drink so he went with Juan, Karl, and Ron. Juan claimed to be on the wagon. “Only club soda for me tonight.”

  Heaven was packed. It was a good thing that Hollio and his wife, Tracy, were there to meet them at the entrance or they would have never found each other. It was only the second time Michael had seen Tracy. She had come to the club one night, but he’d never spoken to her. She was an emergency room nurse and usually worked nights.

  He found himself sitting next to her at the table Anthony had reserved for them, and was very talkative which Michael was grateful for, given the fact that Jason and Sandy were monopolising Anthony’s attention, and Juan had dragged Karl onto the dance floor. Ron was eyeing some stud from across the room, debating with Hollio if he should go for it or not.

  “So, how do you like working at the club?” she asked. She was a very pretty woman with long red hair and green eyes.

  “It took some getting used to,” Michael said. “It was an eye opener.”

  She laughed. “Hollio says you’ve become a good manager.”

  Michael was surprised. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” She patted his arm, sipping on her gin and tonic. “So, when are you and Anthony going to make it official?”

  Michael just about choked on his sip of beer. “What?”

  “Come on.” She laughed. “You must know what a catch he is. You guys are so damn cute together. I noticed it that night I stopped by the club. He’s had a hard time of it lately. He deserves to have someone in his life.”

  “Yeah, but Tracy --” Michael shook his head. “-- that someone isn’t me.”

  “Why not? He’s gorgeous; he’s successful; he’s got a heart of gold. I’m sure he’s dynamite in bed. What’s not to love?”

  “Well, you’re right, but as you see I’ve got competition.”

  “Where? I don’t see any. The only thing stopping you is you.”

  “What about Sandy?”

  “If he wanted Sandy, he’d be gone. He’s still here, isn’t he?”

  “He doesn’t have much of a choice.”

  She grinned. “Maybe you don’t believe it yet, but he’s the one for you.”

  “Jason is…”

  “Jason is like a brother to him. He’d never go for Jason.”

  “Something has been going on between them, really.”

  “In your head, maybe.”

  Michael laughed. “Hey, you think Hollio would mind if I asked his lady to dance?”

  She was already up on her feet. “Come on, cutie. If you can dance half as good as your father could, we might not sit down again.”

  The hours passed. Michael thought about asking Anthony to dance a few times, then, changed his mind. At midnight, Anthony made a toast to Michael and Daniel. They all raised their glasses. It got quiet for a few minutes. Suddenly, Juan let out a squeal when he saw the people on the dance floor grab on to each other in a huge chain dance. “Come on, people. Let’s party!”

  Everyone got up. The dance seemed to go on and on, finally out of exhaustion, Michael went back to the table. Anthony quickly followed. He grabbed the Coke he was drinking and took a swallow. He was bathed in sweat. Michael looked over at him as he raised his own glass of soft drink. “Why don’t you have a drink? You deserve it. I’ll drive you home.”

  Anthony shook his head and flopped into his chair. “No. If I had a drink, I’d pass out. I’m beat. I wish I could talk the guys into going to Hollio’s and Tracy’s earlier, but I think they’re going to close the place down. Look at Juan. He’s wild.”

  Michael yawned. “Yeah, I’d love to be in my bed right now. I’m beat. Oh well, only a few hours to go. Hey, where’s my dance, by the way? You’ve danced with everyone else.”

  Anthony leaned across the table at him. “Can I have a rain check?”

  “Sure,” Michael said, but he was disappointed. If he’d wanted to dance with him, he would have asked him earlier. He excused himself and went to the washroom.

  Anthony watched Michael go. He closed his eyes. All he’d thought about tonight was holding him in his arms. He’d almost asked him to dance several times during a slow number, but Jason and Sandy were always dragging him onto the dance floor. Anyway, that was an excuse. The truth was, he wanted to dance with him, but he’d thought better of it. They’d probably wind up in bed together later, and that’s what he didn’t want. Twice they’d had sex, and twice they’d ended up fighting afterward. Michael always went out of his way to let him know that the sex didn’t mean anything to him. He suspected it was bullshit, but it hurt. The more he touched him, the more he wanted to, and he’d been through too much heartache lately to invite more of it.

  He was just beginning to accept the fact that whatever family he’d had was gone. Again, he was completely alone. Jason and Sandy wanted something he didn’t have to give them, and it was putting a serious strain on two relationships he thought he could count on. And Michael. Well, there was definitely a physical attraction there, but he had no idea where in the hell Michael was coming from, and he was more than a little hesitant to find out.

  By the time they left, with the exception of Juan, Michael and himself, no one was feeling any pain. Tracy and Hollio had a great spread laid out when they got back, and at four in the morning, after dancing all night, everyone was pretty famished.

  “You guys can all stay here tonight,” Hollio told him. “I have tons of sleeping bags, cots. There are three empty beds. Come on, Anthony, have a drink. You can crash here. You too, Michael, and my buddy Juan, of course.”

  It sounded great. None of them really wanted to drive, and Anthony was just as happy not to have to go home tonight. Tracy brought him a whiskey and Coke, just the way he liked it, and he grinned at her and took the drink.

  Michael accepted a vodka tonic. Juan took a beer. They ate, joked around, and finally half of them passed out.

  Tracy gave them all blankets and told them to find their spot, then, she headed to bed, her head on Hollio’s shoulder.

  “They’re a nice couple,” Michael said to Anthony, who was picking up some paper plates and putting them into the garbage can.

  “Yeah.”


  Michael brought a few plates to the garbage can as well. “You know what Tracy told me tonight?”

  “No, what did she tell you?” Anthony yawned.

  “She said that when people ask her why she’s cool with what her husband does, she tells them because he expresses his feminine side, he knows just how to please her in bed, and that he does housework.” Michael laughed.

  Anthony grinned. “Yeah, Tracy is pretty smart.”

  “She also told me something else.”

  “What’s that?”

  Well, she said that trying to fit in, by being like everyone else is not acceptance, it’s submission. Do you believe that?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “I’m beginning to believe it too. My father was a rebel. He didn’t care what people thought of him. He respected himself and he was…beautiful.” Michael’s gaze searched Anthony’s face.

  “Yes, he was,” Anthony replied. He was beautiful. Beautiful like his father, and unless he moved away from him at this moment, he was going to kiss him.

  “Anthony, you must know I want you.”

  “Yeah, I know. And I want you, but it’s always about you. And what about tomorrow?”

  “Fuck tomorrow,” Michael said, moving closer.

  “No. I can’t.” He took a step back. It took every ounce of resolve he had to refuse him. “I really can’t. Let’s just try and be friends, okay? It’s easier than this rollercoaster you’ve got me on.”

  Michael blinked. “Friends?”

  Anthony nodded. “I’ve got to go to bed. I’m really tired. See you tomorrow.”

  Chapter Nine

  Sandy left before New Year’s, having some show to do in Colorado right after the New Year. Jason moved out of the house. Michael could see that Anthony was upset about Jason moving, and that bugged him. That bugged him a whole lot.